Sunday, December 8, 2013

Finding Fit

I always fall off the blogging bandwagon ~ where the hell are the seatbelts??

I realized I don't blog because I'm busy. Duh, who isn't? We're all busy in our own ways, whether it's busy working, busy being a parent, busy running errands, or even busy being lazy - hey, it's a busy to some!

Then when I realized WHY I'VE been busy, I thought, man this would have been great to blog about. It's one of those things that YOU, meaning the person on the journey, cares about WAY more than anyone else, but isn't that true with most personal journeys?? So I never really thought to share it... until now. Lucky you.

So I've been on a fitness journey. No, not a diet. I don't diet anymore. I did for 20 years & look how well that worked out! Maybe it was the milestone birthday that is creeping up ever so quickly (10 days to be exact ~ gulp) maybe it's seeing friends beat the odds & achieve such amazing fitness goals. Or, maybe I was just tired of not being as fit as I wanted to be.

I can't get my last 6 months all into this one blog, so I have to commit to posting at least a few times a week. Let's just start with a few facts about me & my battle with body image.

~ I've struggled all my life & never considered myself skinny.
~ I tried every fad diet & every diet pill you can think of.
~ I often vomited when I was younger to rid of extra consumed calories but truly hated barfing so didn't keep that up for long.
~ I've spent a few hundred dollars on body wraps.
~ I weighed 135 when I was 21 and got pregnant. I gained 70 lbs and had a C-section that didn't go so swell. I weighed in at 192 lbs for 5 years after giving birth.
~ I did weight watchers for my wedding which got me down to 168 lbs.
~ Along with marriage came many splits, I starved myself due to depression, lost 30 lbs in 2 months but in turn also lost hair, nutrients & any chance of reshaping my stomach back to "normal". I endured an extra amount of belly skin that can only be cosmetically firmed up.
~ I never once exercised as an adult until about 5 years ago.
~ I love carbs & dislike most meats.
~ My closet contains many Spanx type items.
~ I wore stomach "suckers" as I call them under many outfits.
~ I divorced 10 years ago & fell in love with the most amazing woman, who is my SOLE inspiration on this fitness journey.
~ When I met her, I weighed 138 - only because I refused to let her think I consumed food, therefore I was hungry quite often.
~ Comfort set in & so did my weight. 
~ I started this mental & physical journey in July of 2013.
I weighed 162 lbs @ 5'6" - one day I may post a picture, I'm still uncomfortable with most pictures of my body. I'll think about it though because visuals are motivation.

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