Sunday, December 8, 2013

Finding Fit

I always fall off the blogging bandwagon ~ where the hell are the seatbelts??

I realized I don't blog because I'm busy. Duh, who isn't? We're all busy in our own ways, whether it's busy working, busy being a parent, busy running errands, or even busy being lazy - hey, it's a busy to some!

Then when I realized WHY I'VE been busy, I thought, man this would have been great to blog about. It's one of those things that YOU, meaning the person on the journey, cares about WAY more than anyone else, but isn't that true with most personal journeys?? So I never really thought to share it... until now. Lucky you.

So I've been on a fitness journey. No, not a diet. I don't diet anymore. I did for 20 years & look how well that worked out! Maybe it was the milestone birthday that is creeping up ever so quickly (10 days to be exact ~ gulp) maybe it's seeing friends beat the odds & achieve such amazing fitness goals. Or, maybe I was just tired of not being as fit as I wanted to be.

I can't get my last 6 months all into this one blog, so I have to commit to posting at least a few times a week. Let's just start with a few facts about me & my battle with body image.

~ I've struggled all my life & never considered myself skinny.
~ I tried every fad diet & every diet pill you can think of.
~ I often vomited when I was younger to rid of extra consumed calories but truly hated barfing so didn't keep that up for long.
~ I've spent a few hundred dollars on body wraps.
~ I weighed 135 when I was 21 and got pregnant. I gained 70 lbs and had a C-section that didn't go so swell. I weighed in at 192 lbs for 5 years after giving birth.
~ I did weight watchers for my wedding which got me down to 168 lbs.
~ Along with marriage came many splits, I starved myself due to depression, lost 30 lbs in 2 months but in turn also lost hair, nutrients & any chance of reshaping my stomach back to "normal". I endured an extra amount of belly skin that can only be cosmetically firmed up.
~ I never once exercised as an adult until about 5 years ago.
~ I love carbs & dislike most meats.
~ My closet contains many Spanx type items.
~ I wore stomach "suckers" as I call them under many outfits.
~ I divorced 10 years ago & fell in love with the most amazing woman, who is my SOLE inspiration on this fitness journey.
~ When I met her, I weighed 138 - only because I refused to let her think I consumed food, therefore I was hungry quite often.
~ Comfort set in & so did my weight. 
~ I started this mental & physical journey in July of 2013.
I weighed 162 lbs @ 5'6" - one day I may post a picture, I'm still uncomfortable with most pictures of my body. I'll think about it though because visuals are motivation.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Dates You Wish You Could Forget....

July 20th


Five years ago today my father (aka Pa) passed away.
The worst day of my life. 
I wish I could forget. 
Forget that day
Forget this date. 
But I can't & probably won't. 
It doesn't necessarily get "easier", you just cope better I guess. 
I miss his smile, his baby blue eyes, his prickly whiskers & shiny sun burnt bald spot.
I just really, really miss him...♥
 
 

Thursday, July 18, 2013

It's About That Time!!!!!


It's About That Time!!
 It's here & I'm skeered.
But determined.
Unfortunately at this given time I'm battling major hip issues that's causing possible bruising & clotting in my upper thigh, this is probably not a good thing.

That being said, I AM going to have it checked out & hopefully SOON I will be able to have the ever so sexy Shaun T kick my ass.

Speaking of, do you know this lovely, hunk of chocolate is GAY? Gotta say, I didn't see that one. I am having the technician come out tomorrow to check my gay-dar, something has got to be wrong. AND not only is he gay, he has a rather yummy husband. Please drool below...

Saturday, February 16, 2013

Hello? Anyone Home?

Hi. Yes I have been MIA. I'm so sorry. Though I love to blog I have figured out that it takes a lot of dedication & I must not have enough of that.

Between my full time job, full time kid & part time Zumba, I just never seem to write anymore but I think about it ALL THE TIME!!

From bitching about pet peeves, to new hair dos, to trendy weight loss issues, to family matters, to whatever takes over my brain for the day, which I can tell you is a LOT Of shit in one day.

Let's see what I can briefly cover (sum it) from my sabbatical.

~ Mother had heart attack while in NC. Sisters & I drove 5 hours to be with her. Sucks when you lost one parent to a heart attack only 4.5 years ago & now we face it again. Scary. I hate it. Living in fear every day really truly is bothersome. Not only for us, but especially for her.

~ Taxes - Screwed me. No, I didn't enjoy it. I had made a prior agreement to pay my ex for the car we got the kid for Christmas. With my average return I figured this would leave me with a good $1500. Son needs new glasses & contacts. I need contacts & my car needs 4 new tires. Plus a little left over for graduation stuff & birthdays. Outcome = I didn't even get back enough to pay for the car. Fuck you Earned Income Credit & my "$1000 over the required income".

~ Weight loss gimmicks. I love 'em. I mean I hate 'em. And even though I know most are gimmicks I STILL try them & get pissed when they don't work. My latest (I actually have 2) are all natural slimmer assist pills that were recommended my one of my Zumba® students (she's skinny so that's good enough for me) and also these It Works® body wraps. Another Zumba® student is a distributor. I didn't get into the pyramid scheme. I want to be skinny not stressed with more work. So I buy them from Amazon much cheaper. Needless to say I'm on week 3 of the pills & wrap #3. I have seen NO difference & I'm pissed. I fall for those "before & after" pictures, damn they're amazing. Why am I never one of those?? I think my one "after" picture/measurement was worse than the before!! WTF!!! I don't want to workout 24/7 and eat freakin' bunny food all my life. Hmpf!

~ The kid now has his license, a running car & a new job. Thus I have empty nest syndrome. I never see him except only when he needs money... Oh wait, that's all the time so guess I technically "see" him often but don't blink cuz kid & money are gone in a flash. His concept of money is non-existence still. But hey my car insurance went from $50/month to $221/mo. What a kick in the poodle.

~ Son had a school colleague pass away a few weeks ago. They played volleyball together for 2 years. I was quite distraught by this. Certain life events just hit us harder than others, this one was extremely harsh for me. The visuals wouldn't leave my mind, the parent's heartache echoed in my heart, I spent numerous hours per day somber & in tears for the loss. I just don't understand these things & they make me very angry. (RIP James Wilson)

~ I tore my calf in November & was in a boot for 6 weeks. It still aches. I worry every day that I work out that it's going to happen again. I do what I can to prevent it but no guarantees in life. It hurt. Really don't want something like that to happen again.

~ I still haven't won the lottery. But still trying.

~ My newest addiction (yes i know this doesn't help with the lack of weight loss so shut it)




That's it for now... just a quick glance into the past 6 months that I've slacked! Hopefully will be back soon! Leave a comment :)